New Health Club Controversy

Following the initial success caused by the controversy of their all-veiled female beauty centre, the creators of ‘Sabaya’ have just announced their intention to launch another health club in the same area. According to the owners this new project, called ‘Balabel’, will only allow in bearded Muslim men. Stubbles, goatees and soul patches, they warn, do not count. “Matter of fact”, stated one of the co-owners, “anything less than 4 inches will not do. And it must be clean. And groomed….” In order to verify their member’s religious authenticity, all applicants will have to recite a verse from the Koran at the door to gain entry. “And not the fat7a either! A really, really hard one” added the co-owner. Inside there will be all the facilities they will enjoy; including hardcore pornography on tv, belly dancers, and African children slaves who will bring them their orders.

More Teddy Violence

After what seemed like an already psychotic affair of locking up a British school teacher in Sudan for agreeing to name the class teddy bear ‘Mohamed’, it’s still not over. In the middle of a typical ‘angry Muslim mob’ gathering protesting the freedom of the school teacher (who they thought should have been physically punished by torture), one of the protesters suddenly announced a horrible realization. “Oh, by Allah!!” he screamed, “but…MY name is Mohamed!! I am a walking blasphemy!” and with that stabbed himself in the neck with a pencil. Having seen this, most of the crowd realized that their name’s are Mohamed (or one of the derivatives) and began stabbing each other one by one, while crying and praying for forgiveness. Those that remained, whose names were NOT Mohamed, went on to kill the families of their now-dead friends, for daring to ever commit such a heinous blasphemy.