Melancholia…Frank Lives!!! Frank Lives!!!
Forgive me father for I have sinned. It’s been over a year since my last blog post. The devil hath whispered into my ears. He hath told me to write a book. A book full of pornography, blasphemy, murder and an incident involving sheesha and a mute.
And I wrote the luceferian novel, father. And it is getting published.
And I slept with your wife.
Chapter 1 : The Thrilling Conclusion
I sat cross-legged at my favorite spot on the beach. It was exactly halfway between the water and the boardwalk, where the sand was softest and had the perfect level of dampness. The sun had disappeared into the ocean a few minutes earlier and the sky had became a dazzling gradient from deep blue to bright purple. Birds squawked above me as the wind whispered into my ears. The envelope, still unopened in my hand, flapped noisily in the breeze. Other than that, there was absolutely no human noise, not a person for miles. I dug my free hand into the sand, then pulled it out and watched the grains fly away softly into the distance. I closed my eyes and took it all in.
I couldn’t have asked for a better climactic scene than this. I admit, this is one of the more peculiar things about me (though I’ll leave that up to you to decide); for having grown up on a healthy dose of film I now see any moment in my life, no matter how serious, as a scene from a movie. I am the star, God is the director. Between my natural ability for drama and his divine artistic vision, I find that we make a winning team. Of course, I sometimes help out with the script, like how I just drove a few hours to the north coast to make this scene a reality…
Gradually a foreign noise invaded my ears, what sounded like panting was slowly increasing. I turned to find a stray brown dog had crept up behind me from out of nowhere. I knew it was stray because it had the kind of ‘about to die’ physique and look of ultimate misery in its eyes that only a stray dog in Egypt can have. It approached until it was standing right next to me, panting and drooling. For a few seconds it was just me and this stray dog, staring at each other in the middle of an empty beach during a beautiful sunset. I smiled and pet his head gently. He nodded in appreciation, then turned halfway around, lifted his leg and before you could say “dog bladder” he was peeing on me. Usually people have an inbuilt reflex system that goes into action whenever another creature is about to pee on them, but on that day mine seemed to be defunct. He put his leg back down, glared at me and trotted off, his tail wagging joyously.
This…was not part of the script.
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hahahahahaha holy shit dude!!!