Oh, aren't we all so lucky to have such access to western entertainment over here in lil ol Egypt ! Everywhere you look now, there are people talking about an episode of Friends, Scrubs, Family Guy, Will & Grace...but why the hell are all the shows American?? Even with stations like BBC World and DVD availability, most people here are not savvy (or don't choose to be savvy) to British humour, which I think is a real crime. For example, almost everyone here knows Rowan Atkinson as "The Mr. Bean guy", which I think should be a crime punishable by flogging in a public square. Call me biased, and I'm just talking about TV shows here, but British comedy has something important that its modern American counterpart (except anything by Larry David) lacks...real humour. Not derivative, generic, laugh-a-minute gags propelled by studio canned laughter; real creative humour. So once again, it's time for me and Frank to get all educational on your ass, and introduce you to the most essential...

10 words in British Comedy

Baldrick

Despite being consistently hilarious in each season (that took place in a different period of time), only two characters remained constant throughout each of the four seasons of the legendary show Blackadder ; Edmund Blackadder, the opportunistic yet terminally unlucky master, and his dim-witted servant Baldrick, who set the blueprint for the modern comedy 'bufoon'. There are literally dozens of elements that were in place to make this such a classic show, like the brilliant acting of veterans Rowan Atkinson (yes, the Mr. Bean guy), Hugh Laurie, Stephen Frost and Tim McInnery, or the razor sharp comic timing. But what really made this special is the writing of Richard Curtis, Ben Elton and Rowan Atkinson (Yes, the Mr Bean guy is multitalented), which developed the most extraordinary characters and placed them in bizarre situations that not only provided comic relief, but also reflected a lot about the British people and human nature in general. Definitely as smart as good comedy can get.

"Oh Baldrick, the devil farts in my face once again..."

Cockney

No, it's not a rude word if you were wondering. The term cockney refers to working-class inhabitants of London , particularly east London , and the slang used by these people. Many shows over time have represented characters from this class (the British Bee2a), but the most well remembered and critically acclaimed would definitely have to be Only Fools and Horses , a show that ran for a decade and chronicled the get-rich-quick schemes of market trader Derik 'Del Boy' Trotter , his brother Rodney and their senile grandfather. The comedy comes in more than one form, the interactions between the two brothers who are very different characters, Derik's lack of cultural refinement, despite his pretensions, best seen in his misuse of French phrases or his claims to be a yuppie .

" There's gotta be a way! He who dares wins! There's a million pounds worth of gold out there-our gold! We can't just say 'bonjour' to it..."

Boyakasha

Right now, just about every living creature around the world can tell you all about British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen'scharacter Borat and his immensely successful movie of last year. Hell, they can probably do an impression ("is niiiice!"). However, not everyone knows that this character actually originated as a bit from Da Ali G Show , which was dominated by another of Baron Cohen's alter egos; the foul-talking, politically incorrect gangster-wannabe Ali G. It was this persona that initially brought him fame, and deservedly so; through Ali G he found a character that represented a part of youth culture that many had overlooked, and he used this character to...take the piss out of a whole bunch of important people! The show was such a success that it spawned a movie, Ali G Indahouse , which declared Cohen a heavyweight amongst the pack of young British comedians.

" So, if this show teach you anything, it should teach you how to respek everyone: animals, children, bitches, spazmos, mingers, lezzers, fatty boombahs, and even gaylords. So, to all you lot watching this, but mainly to the normal people, respek. West side."

Fawlty

John Cleese was already a star when he left Monty Python's Flying Circus to finish off their last season without him, yet had he not gone on to do a successful solo project he might have been forever known as 'the one that does the silly walk'. This career-defining project would come in the form of Fawlty Towers a show Cleese and his then-wife Connie Boothe co-wrote and acted in, that revolved around the life of the neurotic Basil Fawlty and his fire-breathing wife Sybil as they tried to run a hotel in the countryside. The character of Basil Fawlty, which Cleese claims is based on a real life psychotic hotel owner he encountered, is one of the most powerful characters ever to be presented on British television, and could only have been brought to life by the energetic actor and brilliant physical comedian that Cleese is. It's a real delight to watch such a comedic conductor such as John Cleese orchestrate the disastrous situation of each episode, which keeps building and building as the other wacky characters jump in with their bit of crazy until it finally explodes at the end, destroying him every single time.

"The Germans are here. Don't mention the war."

Nih!

45 Episodes over 4 seasons, 4 films and a stage tour cemented their place in comedy history and led to them being known as "the Beatles of comedy". I'm talking of course about Monty Python , a legendary comedy group formed of 5 British comedians (John Cleese, Erick Idle, Terry Gilliam, Graham Chapman and Michael Palin) and an American animator (Terry Jones) who just happened to be in the area. Together they managed to fuse both extreme silliness with intelligent humour in a stream-of-consciousness skit-based medium. As with any pioneers, their experimentation with structure and pushing the boundaries of content led to them to conquer unseen grounds, from the "It's..." opening sequence in every episode of Flying Circus to the 'Welcome to the middle of the film' segment in The Meaning of Life. By never resting on a certain format or character, they managed to run wild with ideas that resulted in creating this magnificent alternate reality that also managed to reflect a lot on our world and teach us valuable lessons; like no one expects the Spanish inquisition...

"I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Lager

Despite the fact that pubs in the UK close at 11pm (God knows why), Lager, a kind of beer, has always been a part of the culture especially among 'lads' (young men). This theme presented itself heavily in the hilarious show Men Behaving Badly , which revolved around the lives of two 'lads' (Gary and Tony) sharing an apartment and getting into all kinds of silly drunken shenanigans. Gary is a branch manager of a security systems company, while Tony drifts from job to job, including phases as a model, mime artist, barman, home birthing assistant, record stall owner and postman, but he never has the rent money anyway. The show won numerous awards and was voted 16 th in the BBC's Britain's Best Sitcom awards, even though the nature of the show led to immense controversy concerning the extent to which young people were copying the lurid behaviour they saw. The show eventually ended after 6 seasons and was remade into an American version called It's a Mans World starring Rob Schneider. Damn Yanks.

" I mean, look at the fuss women make about child birth! Now, I'm not saying it doesn't smart a bit, but if blokes did it, I reckon you'd be looking at, what, give birth, have a couple of Paracetamol, maybe a bit of a nap and then back to work within the hour."

Cross-Dressing

Granted, even Bugs Bunny put on the occasional dress and The Birdcage was all about transvestites, but it's a fact that cross-dressing is a much, much bigger part of British humour (something the Yankees like to make fun of). Many have speculated why this is, honestly I think it's because British humour can come in a very intelligent sophisticated form, and things like this just balance it out. From the Pythons (who used it compulsively) to newer shows like Little Britain , blokes dressing as girls has always been a staple of British comedy. Going back to the fact that Americans like to mock this, in another cut-and-paste segment from Family Guy, two sophisticated looking British Men in a pub are sitting and talking:

Englishman #1 : I say, you know what's really funny? A man dressed in women's clothing.
Englishman #2 : Yes, quite. Ripping good laugh.

Bettyyyyy

Sometimes you come across characters that are so powerful and well thought out that they gather a cult following on their own away from the show, and the very mention of their name spawns numerous (usually bad) impressions of them. Frank Spencer is one of those characters in British comedy, throughout the life of Some Mothers Do 'Ave Em, actor Michael Crawford portrayed the shy, somewhat-retarded simpleton who just can't seem to get it right, despite constant motivation from his supportive wife Betty, who would often have to dig him out of the mess he created. No matter how simple the task was, the harder he tried, the more devastating the situation became. In every episode he would walk into a new world (usually in search of a job) and encounter many normal people going about their business, and usually left the place in flames at the end, with just about everyone who crossed his path getting a nervous breakdown. The true comedy came not out of the situations themselves, but the fact that he actually means well and is only trying to help.

"I've got big plans Betty; I think I could do something with chickens."

Plonker

One of the things I have always respected about British comedy is its knack for reinvention, the most recent example of this is the mockumentary The Office , which succeeded in giving the world the biggest plonker in history; David Brent. In case you're wondering what 'plonker' means, some synonyms include 'twat', 'knob', 'arse', or more familiarly...schmuck! The show, which was also later made into an American version, portrayed itself as a valid documentary by the BBC, following around the employees at an office of a paper merchant, with David Brent being the ridiculous boss who fancies himself as a comedian and thinks everyone loves him when in fact the truth is quite contrary. Though the office is full of brilliant performances, the spotlight almost always falls on Brent, who constantly tries to put himself on the spot. The comedy is of the driest kind and doesn't involve any fast gags (screw you Will & Grace), but the feeling of tension and utter humiliation of gags made by Brent (played by Ricky Gervais) that constantly receive utter silence is absolutely hilarious. Then at other times, he would be making a big speech to the camera trying to look cool and completely contradict or humiliate himself in the middle. What a plonker...

"I don't look upon this like it's the end, I look upon it like it's moving on you know. It's almost like my work here's done. Because I am my own boss. I can wake up one morning and go 'Ooh, I don't feel like working today, can I just stay in bed?' 'Ooh, don't know, better ask the boss.' 'David, can I stay in bed all day?' 'Yes you can David!'...Both me, that's not me in bed with another bloke called David..."

Saunders

...As in Jennifer Saunders, an acclaimed British comedian who reinvented women's role in comedy and showed that the girls could be just as crude and inventive as the boys. She began her career as a stand-up comic with fellow comedian Dawn French, with this dynamic duo eventually getting their own sketch-based show French & Saunders , which became highly successful and achieved a massive following. She didn't stop there though; she soon followed it up with a solo project called Absolutely Fabulous , where she played a snooty wannabe socialite that crapped on everyone around her, yet ended up constantly being herself humiliated by the real socialites she yearned to be with.

Eddie : Granny, are you still on the computer?
Grandmother : Yes, dear. Sometimes you get into a porn loop and just can't get out.