I Believe I owe you an explanation oh confused one...

 

 

It was a Thursday afternoon like any other, so naturally I was re-organizing my vast vinyl record collection in my mother's wedding dress. Fluffy, the dog I had kidnapped from the editor of a local magazine so that they'd publish my articles, slept peacefully in the corner of the dimly lit room. I glanced over at him and immediately started reminiscing about getting the message from Frank, taking him from the editor's house and sending my first article; it all seems so long ago. Just as I was getting into the jazz records, the familiar sound of fluttering and cooing sprung me from the ground, running into the next room where Frank was there as expected, perched majestically on the windowsill. I rushed over and greeted my little white friend, who had started showing up weekly with messages a few months ago. This coincidentally happened right after I got 'asked to leave' from my previous teaching position at a well known American school here in Cairo for trying to get the students to perform a self-written musical rendition of The Silence of the Lambs. That job was my whole life, and that devastating incident sort of put me in a downward spiral of mental instability that only ended when Frank started showing up with his messages that told me what I should do. Life's beautiful like that, just when you think all is lost...

So this time the message read: "You need to start a website, the magazine isn't giving you enough exposure. Trust me."

And here I am! Frank has never led me astray yet and I love him immensely, that's why I knew I had to name the site after him. Here I have infinitely more freedom than I do with the articles that are eventually published in the magazine, what with Egypt being the freedom of speech nightmare that it is.

I know you must be thinking how bizarre all this is (Egypt? Kidnapped dogs?? Records?? Pigeons?!?), but look at it this way; we live in a world where the most powerful man is a coke-head who can't speak English properly, we are all obsessed with a fat, bald, talent less female singer, people are still killing each other in the name of God, poverty and injustice reign while we stand idle and Julianne Moore is still allowed to act in movies. In the words of South Park's Eric Cartman: "It's wrong. It's wroooooong....." 

Still sound crazy? I didn't think so...

 

ATTENTION: If you were, in fact, looking for information about Pigeons, I apologize for the misunderstanding and recommend the following sites:

www.gamebird.com

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pigeons  

CAUTION: This website is based in Egypt (you know, the one with the pyramids), so you'll find that some references are specific to this country and all its glorious eccentricities. If you find yourself scratching your head (or whatever it is you scratch when you're confused) then I would advise reading The Foreigner's Guide to Egypt first.